Talking To Your Parents About Home Care
How to Approach Aging Parents Who Need Assistance
By Ron Kinder, Owner
“No way, I’ll throw her out of the house. I don’t want a caregiver!”
Convincing parents that they need help at home can be challenging. The exclamation above is what one father yelled at his daughter. She knew her father needed help, as his Alzheimer’s was progressing and he was becoming increasingly forgetful but he was very resistant to the help of a caregiver. Fortunately, there are several ways to introduce the idea of a caregiver to aging parents without alienating or offending those you love. Here are a few suggestions:
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Communicate that caregivers are not dictatorial babysitters. Let’s face it, no one wants to lose his/her independence or dignity at any age. To some, the word caregiver conjures up images of Nurse Ratched, the controlling, sadistic nurse in “One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest.” Male clients, in particular, often have a harder time understanding that they will have more freedom, not less, if someone helps them with daily chores that may be difficult to accomplish alone.
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Pick an alternate title for the caregiver. In the true case above, Home Care Assistance and the daughter had to get creative. Since the father went out to lunch every day and frequented a nearby Indian casino to play the slot machines, our case manager suggested that the father might like to have a ‘security guard’ to keep him safe; the father agreed. Our male caregiver, aka “Security Guard Jim”, took care of the father in his home and ensured his safety when they went out. Home Care Assistance caregivers can take on many roles, from security guards to tennis players, to surmount initial objections.
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Suggest the need for a part-time chef/cook to prepare healthy, delicious meals in the home. Home Care Assistance recently began work for a couple that was very resistant to the help that they needed. Their children suggested that they employ a part-time chef (one of our caregivers) to prepare meals in the home. This proved to be a comfortable alternative to fulltime care and will facilitate an easy transition as the amount of required care increases. Our caregivers attend the Home Care Assistance Culinary School and will handle all of the details including shopping, preparing, and cleaning up after a delicious variety of meals. Good food is one of the enjoyments of life and that’s why we’ve invested in our own Culinary School. It’s an exclusive that, along with our Balanced Care Method and Celebration Dinner Parties, makes us unique among home care agencies.
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Call Home Care Assistance today for ideas on how to approach the idea of live-in care for those you love. Our recommendations will help you avoid what can sometimes become a very sore and emotional confrontation between parents and children. 1-877-254-4860.
Below is a list of our home care services and the different groups for which we can provide senior care: